But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
