Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
