i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
COCAINE IS GR8
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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