i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
