I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
