My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
