Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
