I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
