so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
