his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
