even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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