I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
