My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
