Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just pynch a tree in the face
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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