It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
