Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
