Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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