I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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