She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
