I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
