MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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