Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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