Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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