my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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