That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
