I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
