Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
