his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
