A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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