whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
foreskin is a definite game changer
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
