At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
