We named our party play list daddy issues
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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