Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
