Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
