So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
