Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
