Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
