the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
someone owes me an orgasm
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
