Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
