at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
