Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just pee around me
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
