i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
