Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
