I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
