Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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