Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
