they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
