I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
either way he was missing a nipple.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
