I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
