mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
