Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
