Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
