The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
