im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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