her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Randomize
