So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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