In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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