He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
